I remember in the early days my thoughts were straightforward and I had no much experience to think behind situations. No voices giving me directions (maturity) what in a way no much energy and time spent, either I had a clue how important sometimes silly decisions are. Say the right thing in the right place are the key. Today I’m pretty sure all opportunity of interaction we need to take advantage of that. Even a friend who we hardly see or a beloved one, this moments are so important to build boundaries. The time is now, not tomorrow.

In a way is refreshing the blindness of immaturity, we are free and decisions are much more simple. We hope the best and find surprises where life are going to take us. Yes, we have no fudge clue where we are going to be. I miss that time, I still think I had much more guts to take decisions than now.

In the other hand I am pretty sober most of the time in what to facing situations. I had an impression since ever my mind is a lot complex that an average person, off course I know also the reason for that, but in the end of the day I see the consequence. I like to have the control of things and where it will take me. I think I am good at that, I’ve got the whole package: sober, cold, thick skin and sensitive.

Interaction is a really interesting, especially when we can see behind it and I always ask the key question: Why? There is, even if not clear for each part, always a reason for the way.

So there we go! It’s not some simple as we think, we need tons of ghosts from the past plus hours thinking, some tears and blood spelt get the confidence needed. It feels so good when we get to a stage where we see a path.  

Well, this week something really funny happens where I can see this path and no voices either. A completely new situation and a scaring silence stolen my sleep. A completely new experience without much support from friends as it is so mad and unexpected. What is understandable but it is on my hands how I will manage that. Also someone that I care can get seriously hurt.

I get myself asking question why? But unfortunately I will rest my case for now, I have to put myself first sometimes and understand I can’t have the control sometimes. Deal with it Jack!

I can’t lie, part of me is feeling good to have that nostalgic feeling and also curious where this is going to end. I am pretty sure I am not get hurt with this, I have some serious things to focus.

I will try be true with myself, not hurt anyone, get off my way to help and keep my mind positive that I am doing the right thing. I will survive again plus nothing to lose, a new voice will come together with a new path.

That is what life is about, we can reinvent ourselves and our environment.

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